On the Interweb

As you may know (since I don't exactly hide the fact), I am "online"
Meaning: "I am an online dater"
Meaning: "I have multiple profiles on dating websites in hopes that I can expand my dating pool and possibly make some connections with people.  Male people.  Single male people.  Gainfully employed, single, male people.  Gainfully employed, single, male people who do not live in their mother's basements"
Meaning: "......I'm a single gal in 2011"

I have been involved in this spirited dance with online dating for quite a while now.  Well over a year...and this may or may not be my first time at this rodeo.

So, in all that time I have learned to figure a few things out about online dating.

Here lie some of my observations:

1. There will always be horrible, awful people (who may or may not be married) soliciting young girls for sex.  Sad, but true.

2.  I will still consider it to be the man's job to make the initial contact.  I must be old-fashioned in this new-fashioned world.

3.  There will be men older than my father looking and commenting on my profile.  I will not find it flattering.

4.  Men will undoubtedly be embarrassed about the fact they are looking online for love.

5.  Men will post photos of themselves with small children (most likely nieces and nephews) that seem to scream out, "SEE!  I'M BABY FRIENDLY!"

6.  Photos taken in mirrors will always make me laugh inside.

7.  It will always be slightly awkward trying to get to know someone through short e-mails and IM's.

8.  People who never seem to check their profiles before midnight always seem to be slightly shady...and they should be asleep.

9.  If a person cannot send a message of substance, and can only manage to say cheesy lines from 90's movies, I will not respond.  I got "Can I keep you?"  as a first contact from a guy just today....he clearly thinks I haven't seen Casper.  And really?  Pick a better movie!

10.  People will always tell me I don't need to date online.  To which I respond..."but I want to date!"

11.  It is very, very, very important to feel comfortable with a person before accepting their invitation to dinner (or a movie or frolicking in rain puddles, or whatever) otherwise it can get really awkward and uncomfortable REALLY fast.

12.  DO NOT become Facebook friends with someone you talk to online but haven't actually met.  But if you want to make sure they're legit, go ahead and make sure their stories match up via Facebook...Google is a great thing.

13.  I have to make sure they don't listen to and like Glenn Beck.  That is a deal breaker.

14.  Some people sabotage themselves by what they write in their profiles.  I have read a lot of angry, bitter diatribes about past girlfriends, and females in general.  Doesn't really inspire me to talk to you.  It does inspire me to pity you and then close your profile poste haste.

15.  There will always be some eager-beaver 19 year old who is so totally stoked for marriage that he hits up your profile every day saying how awesome you are.  I want to reply that he reminds me of my younger brother...and I just couldn't do that.

16.  Online dating really isn't all that bad....it just....isn't that good either.

Personally, I prefer to meet people organically (read: in real-life situations), but alas, I don't have tons of opportunities in my current situation.  So online it is.  Though I think I'm going to take a brief hiatus.  Wish me luck!  I hope my 19 year old admirer won't be too heartbroken.